September 4th, I may have spoke too soon

It is 10:30pm Saturday night. The kids are asleep and although I tried to sleep as well, I am up - Again... This past 4 days has brought back all of the memories of the difficulties that the windmills can cause. I was actually starting to hope that we had grown accustomed to them, or that they were fixed, or that by some miracle things had changed. Until now.
On the 31st of August, Tuesday, the turbines were as loud as I have ever heard them. Not even like a plane, more like an unimaginably huge fan in the field. More than the usual woosh, it was amplified, so loud, almost like something from a movie. Then on Wednesday, I noticed they were loud still, but quieter, back to "normal", not like the loudest I had heard them the day before. Still, even though they seemed to quiet slightly after 9pm, I found I could not sleep. My glands on my right side of the throat felt swollen, my eyes extremely dry feeling, and my ear hurt slightly.
By Thursday, after having hardly any sleep, and I am sure no REM sleep at all, I felt Tired, my body felt weighed down, my limbs heavy, the pain in my neck and ear worsened but there were no signs of illness or infection. These feeling continued to Friday and it's difficult to explain, but I felt Nothing. No motivation, no real feelings of any kind, just kind of going through the motions of the day with difficulty. No desire to "do" anything. With regards to work, I had big plans to finish some calls, paperwork and organizing in the office this week in preparation for what I hope will be a very successful September. These plans were so important to me the week before, and are again now, however, during these past days, nothing seemed important - I just wanted to sit, not think, just sleep - this is very strange for me as I am usually very motivated and always moving and busy. Even when the children asked me to play or do something for them, it was with great difficulty that I was able to fulfill their needs, and I left the entertaining up to the television and dad because I just couldn't get enough energy up to really "do" anything. And so I slept. I slept almost all day. Again, I had been unable to sleep the night before, but I just slept on Saturday. On and off, I continued to be needed for things, but as soon as I could, I just went back to bed and slept more. I felt a bit guilty for my behaviour, but honestly nothing really mattered but that much needed sleep. I tried a few times to clean up the house, or do the dishes, or work in the office but literally just couldn't. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't be physical, I just felt so tired. I really can not explain it with words.

Today, Saturday Sept 4th was much, much better. The worst symptom I felt today was that my eyes felt 'scratchy'. Dry, like they have little pieces of glass in them that rub when you blink, I guess that describes the feeling pretty good. Funny thing is that my husband left the house first thing this morning and called me a few hours later to say that he could still feel that uneasiness, that "spinning" feeling even long after he left the house. He too has had the "dry eyes" the past few days, and last night slept with a CD playing loudly beside him while he slept in order to drown out the turbines. I think this past few days is the worst either of us can remember - or maybe we have forgotten just how bad it was last year in our efforts to be optimistic. Because I slept most of the day yesterday and most of the night last night I was able to function today. Still, not very motivated, I forced myself to get things done. Laundry, housecleaning, back to school preparation, feeding the kids, playing with them, even some work in the office and some correspondence, and even, this blog now. It was windy today, very windy at times, perhaps too windy for the turbines. I could not sleep tonight, but honestly, I could not hear the turbines as on Saturday nights we can hear the Buxton raceway and that sound is what I heard through the bedroom window. It's funny, I actually find the distant sound of roaring motors less annoying than the turbines. Maybe it's because I know at 11pm it will end until next week. Maybe it's because the roaring engines are not accompanied by the spinning feeling, by the aches and pains, and, I can fall asleep when I hear them - most nights, except tonight and I think that is due to the turbines playing havoc on my body, and not the sound of the cars which I honestly barely notice.

We still have our windows open, at least some of them, so it remains to be seen whether the house closed up for winter will shield us from the turbines. After this past few days, I am skeptical and worried. I don't know how we can live with the turbines if they affect us this way. My business, I work from home, suffered greatly last year in comparison from the previous year in large part due to the many, many days that I felt drained, unmotivated, tired, sore eyes and limbs. I need to work. We need my income. I choose to work from home. Is it fair that this choice may be taken away from me?

As I sit now in the office, windows in this room closed, ceiling fan turning and the sound of my typing, I can not hear the turbines or any other noise from outside. If I listen closely, I think I can hear the raceway, but really no sounds from outside. I am not sure if the turbines are turning right now but I am guessing they are because I can feel a pressure in my head, like a headache coming on, and a tightness in my upper back and shoulders. This usually signals that they are turning. I will go to a window and check.......Yep. At the open window I can definately hear the turbines turning. They are not overly loud at this moment, but consistent. Turning at a pretty good rate. I guess I should be glad that it is chilly and I can shut some of the windows, but my mind keeps wondering what will happen this fall/winter? Will it get worse? Will we be forced from our home like so many before us? We will fight that all the way. We will do everything in our power to combat the symptoms and make our home liveable, but, what if?

If anyone with any say whatsoever is reading this blog, please find a way to place these turbines farther from homes, businesses, and schools. If they are to be a part of our future, then at least put them far enough away that they are not deteriorating quality of life for so many people.

Guess that's it for today. Be happy and healthy. Nik